GOD DOES LOVE UGLY — EXAMINING WHAT COMPELS PEOPLE TO REMAIN UNLOVED & BOUND BY FAMILY

Until recently, I thought I understood the intention behind the phrase family is family. Recently, it has been used in the context of some new associates, but, in a manner which diverges greatly from my concept of family. It invited me to some soul searching. Especially since the holidays are once again upon us.

Over the next two months, thousands of people will resent feeling coerced to suffer time with their family of origin. They will politely (or rudely) endure relatives who impolitely deny the essential essence of core of their identity. Abuse will be tolerated. Or it won’t be tolerated; screaming matches will occur; and the family member with the least standing (youngest) will be made to feel guilty for breathing. This same abused member will be threatened with shunning, at the worst , or threats to their ongoing physical wellbeing in the form of food and shelter. Coping mechanisms will be triggered. There will be anxiety. Depression will follow. It’s ugly.

And yet, so many people do it. I don’t understand. I wonder why. So, of course, I turned to the dictionary. What is family? It had a whole lot of definitions, most of which deal with biology. But, the section that caught my eye read “also denoting the servants of a household or the retinue of a nobleman): from…