What It Sometimes Feels Like Being In Relationship With White People

Right now, somewhere in America there is a drum circle around a bonfire with singing and “primitive tribal” dancing in support of ending racism. It was organized by some feminist Whywomen (and involves almost no Black people) to further reinforce that activism is not really about anything other than centering Whywomen, their tears, their good time, their goodness and their exquisite ability to signal virtue and obfuscate their critical complicity with Patriarchal WhySupremacy.

But, no, really…they are super nice people. I know they are some Black person’s friend or colleague. They are even my own friends. And they truly, honestly imagine that they care. They believe themselves. They believe in themselves. And after the past 10 years, if they are still my friend, I believe in them also. I got over being a nice servant and martyr to the advancement of White humanity …about five years ago.

But, right now…again…they got the sadness going heavy about how the WhySupremacy leapt right out in front of them. WhySupremacy burned in the streets and demanded that they stare it in the face. That mean old devil WhySupremacy had some nerve! Whypipo still talking about banging coffee cans and drums and lighting candles and singing Kumbaya at the City County building. They’re still in their feelings. Mourning the loss of their magical, post-racial-but-I-know-better pretend world.

And they want to talk about why I don’t want to talk about any of that White nonsense. Because that is what WhySupremacy is. It is some institutional, structural White nonsense. But, of course, I value my White friends. So, I go look for something polite to say which boils down to “We’ve played this game enough.”

Imagine the surprise my White friends had when I revealed to them that half of what I say on their Facebook walls about racism is copied and pasted from a file on my hard drive that is over eight years old. They are flabbergasted.

So, I’ve found a way to help them think of it this way.